- Once upon a time there was a mischievous boy named Sebastian Chatham. He was on the way to see his father, Archibald Chatham, when he decided to take a short cut through The Lost Forest.
It wasn’t long before Sebastian got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Bunny, but Bunny was nowhere to be found. Sebastian began to panic. He felt sure Bunny was packed. To make matters worse, he was having hunger pains.
He saw a Vicious wolf dressed in a turquoise top hat disappearing into the trees.
“How odd!” thought Sebastian.
With nothing else better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed wolf. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Sebastian reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from radishes, a house made from pizzas, a house made from crisps, a house made from muffins, and a house made from doughnuts.
Sebastian could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
“Hello!” he called. “Is anybody there?”
Sebastian looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else’s chimney. It would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Sebastian a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Bunny!
“Bunny!” shouted Sebastian. He turned to the witch. “That’s my toy!”
The witch shrugged.
“Give Bunny back!” hollered Sebastian.
“Not on your nelly!” said the witch.
“At least, let Bunny out of that cage!”
Before she could reply, four vicious wolves rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Sebastian recognised the one in the turquoise top hat that he’d seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
“Hello Big Wolf,” said the witch.
“Good morning.” The wolf noticed Bunny. “Who is this?”
“That’s Bunny,” explained the witch.
“Ooh! Bunny would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!” demanded the wolf.
The witch shook her head. “Bunny is staying with me.”
“Um… Excuse me…” Sebastian interrupted. “Bunny lives with me! And not in a cage!”
Big Wolf ignored him. “Is there nothing you’ll trade?” he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, “I do like to be entertained. I’ll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door.”
Big Wolf looked at the house made from doughnuts and said, “No problem, I could eat an entire house made from doughnuts if I wanted to.”
“That’s nothing,” said the next wolf. “I could eat two houses.”
“There’s no need to show off,” said the witch. Just eat one front door and I’ll let you have Bunny.”
Sebastian watched, feeling troubled. He didn’t want the witch to give Bunny to Big Wolf. He didn’t think Bunny would like living with a Vicious wolf, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other three wolves watched while Big Wolf put on his bib. He withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Big Wolf. “Just you watch!”
Big Wolf pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pizzas. He gulped it down, smiling, and went back for more.
Big Wolf started to get bigger – just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of pizzas, he grew to the size of a large snowman – and he was every bit as round.
“Erm… I don’t feel too good,” said Big Wolf.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He’d grown so round that he could no longer balance.
“Help!” he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Wolf never finished eating the front door made from pizzas and Bunny remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Average Wolf stepped up, and approached the house made from crisps.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Average Wolf. “Just you watch!”
Average Wolf pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. She gulped it down, smiling, and went back for more.
After a while, Average Wolf started to look a little queasy. She grew greener…
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. “What’s this bush doing here?” he asked.
“I’m not a bush, I’m a wolf!” said Average Wolf.
“It talks!” exclaimed the woodcutter. “Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I’d better take it away before somebody gets hurt.”
“No! Wait!” yelled Average Wolf, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the wolf away under his arm.
Average Wolf never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Bunny remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Little Wolf stepped up, and approached the house made from muffins.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Little Wolf. “Just you watch!”
Little Wolf pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from muffins. He gulped it down, smiling, and went back for more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Wolf started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating muffins for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Wolf into the sky.
“Aggghhhhhh!” cried Little Wolf. “I’m scared of heights”
Little Wolf was never seen again.
Little Wolf never finished eating the front door made from muffins and Bunny remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Tiny Wolf stepped up, and approached the house made from doughnuts.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Tiny Wolf. “Just you watch!”
Tiny Wolf pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from doughnuts. She gulped it down, smiling, and went back for more.
However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Wolf’s mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of doughnuts, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn’t enough room left in her belly.
“This is just not fair!” declared Tiny Wolf, and stomped off into the forest.
Tiny Wolf never finished eating the front door made from doughnuts and Bunny remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
“That’s it,” said the witch. “I win. I get to keep Bunny.”
“Not so fast,” said Sebastian. “There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from radishes. And I haven’t had a turn, yet.”
“I don’t have to give you a turn!” heckled the witch. “My game. My rules!”
The woodcutter’s voice carried through the forest. “I think you should give him a chance. It’s only fair.”
“Fine,” said the witch. “But you saw what happened to the wolves. He won’t last long.”
“I’ll be right back,” said Sebastian.
“What?” said the witch. “Where’s your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Bunny back.”
Sebastian ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small campfire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from radishes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled, just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Sebastian sat down on a nearby log.
“You fail!” cackled the witch. “You were supposed to eat the whole door.”
“I haven’t finished,” explained Sebastian. “I am waiting for my food to go down.”
When Sebastian’s food was digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from radishes. Once more, he roasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool, just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
After several sittings, Sebastian was down to the final piece of the door made from radishes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool, just a little. He finished his final course. Sebastian had eaten the entire front door of the house made from radishes.
The witch stamped her foot. “You must have tricked me!” she said. “I don’t reward cheating!”
“I don’t think so!” said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. “This little boy won fair and square. Now, hand over Bunny or I will chop your broomstick in half.”
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Sebastian hurried over and grabbed Bunny, checking that his favourite toy was alright. Bunny was unharmed.
Sebastian thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Archibald. The sun was dipping low, over the horizon.
When Sebastian got to Archibald’s house, his father threw his arms around him.
“I was so worried!” exclaimed Archibald. “It is almost dark.”
As Sebastian described his day, he could tell that Archibald didn’t believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
“What’s that?” asked Archibald.
Sebastian unwrapped a doorknob made from muffins. “Desert” he said.
Archibald braced himself from falling out of his rickety chair.
Word count: 1606.
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