“Good morning, customer service here, and my name is Dee.
So, you have a little problem? … You were right to come to me.
Could you tell me whom I’m talking to? … Come on … don’t be shy …
Aww, thank you! Yes … I try to be … Oh, goodness, please don’t cry.

You say your foot’s stuck in the loo? How did you manage that?
You stood upon the toilet seat? … To rescue Sid the cat….
The lid collapsed and down you went! … And then you flushed the loo?
Your foot’s now jammed … it’s soaking wet? … You’re not sure what to do?

If you hold on I’ll get advice from colleagues here at work
We will sort things out for you … No! Of course, you’re not a jerk!
These things are often happening, you’re really not the first.
You say you’re desperate for the loo? … If you don’t go you’ll burst!

Well, I’ve sent for the fire-brigade, I thought you’d like to know,
…Of course they would not laugh at you, they’d never sink that low.
They don’t discuss our customers they’ve got integrity… 
Unless they put you on TV—for everyone to see!


© 2019, Sandra Stoner-Mitchell. All rights reserved.

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